


Mixed Signals [Wincest]

by the_wincest_life



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brother/Brother Incest, Incest, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sibling Incest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 21:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14363790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_wincest_life/pseuds/the_wincest_life
Summary: Sam had only ever really loved one person and that was Dean; after all, he was his brother the closest person to him. Sure, he loved his Dad and Bobby, but he loved Dean more than anyone and anything else. When he was younger, he would always trail around after Dean, looking up to his big brother, wanting to be just like him. Even now, all he wanted to do was be like Dean, or maybe... He was confusing that, with wanting to be with him, at this point; he couldn't tell.





	1. Author's note

Hi guys! Hope you have fun reading my story. This won't take long I promise, just some back story so you won't get confused. 

 

-Sam is currently 20 years old

-Dean is 24 years old

-Their father is still alive

-This is not completely related to the actual supernatural plot

-Sam was with Jess at some point

-Their mother is not alive

also...

This is gay, this is incest and please get ready for some fucking cliches and cringe.

 

Enjoy my little sinners. 

 

ps. I've previously posted this on Wattapad under the same name so I did not steal it, I just lost my login details.


	2. You are special to me Dean

It was a winter Tuesday, same like any other. Sam was sitting across from Dean in the cold motel room; he was researching trying to find more information about the creature they were hunting. He was too focused on his work to notice the way Dean was looking at him this entire time. It was late at night, neither of them had slept for days but in Dean’s eyes, his brother was still perfect. With his long brown hair that now almost touched his shoulders, falling on his face covering his sparkling eyes looking so cute, how could Dean not stare? Sam looked up, catching his brother eyes that looked a little greener than usual. They were magnetizing, but he quickly brushed it off with a dry cough piercing the silence in the room, bringing both of them back to reality.

 

“Hey, Sam.” Dean cleared his throat.

“Yeah?”

“Wanna go grab a bite? I’m getting hungry.”

“Thought you’d never ask.” Sam laughed.

 

He grabbed the bag from the floor placing the laptop inside. He stood up and headed to the door followed by his brother, and together got into the Impala looking for a Dinner for a late night bite.

 

The dinner was a little busier than they expected since it was the middle of the night, most of the seats were already taken except a table at the corner of the room. The dinner was filled with pretty girls, although Dean didn’t seem to pay as much attention to them as he usually does, he seemed too caught up to his own thoughts.

 

“Do you want me to get you anything guys?” a waitress asked them.

“Um—We’ll get the special of the day, thank you,” Sam said with a smile.

 

Sam quickly got his computer out of his bag and started researching again; he kept glancing at Dean that clearly wasn’t paying any attention to the people around him.

 

“Why are you looking to me like that Sammy?” he said breaking the silence after a while.

“Wh-What? I’m just waiting for you to say something, that’s all.” Sam stuttered.

 

Dean sat back fiddling with his finger letting out a frustrated sigh. Sam had noticed that Dean had been acting strange around him lately, stranger than usual at least. He didn’t have this- Dean glow he so much admired, neither the sarcastic insults, the winks for the pretty girls, not that he missed them but--

 

“Hey man, are you okay?” Sam said with concern, “You’ve been distracted lately.”

“I just have a lot of things on my mind Sammy, that’s all.” Said Dean giving him a half smile.

 

The waitress came again holding two plates with mac and cheese.  _ ‘Really that’s the special of the day’ _ Sam though and laughed to himself.

 

“What?” Dean asked with a somewhat annoyed expression.

“Nothing,” Sam responded and his smile wore off.

Sam had only ever really loved one person and that was Dean; after all, he was his brother the closest person to him. Sure, he loved his Dad and Bobby, but he loved Dean more than anyone and anything else. When he was younger, he would always trail around after Dean, looking up to his big brother, wanting to be just like him. Even now, all Sam wanted to do was be like Dean, or maybe… He was confusing that, with wanting to be  _ with  _ Dean, at this point; he couldn’t tell.

 

“I’m gonna head to the bar. You coming?” Dean said once they were done with their food.

“Uh-Sure,” Sam replied not really being sure if we wanted to.

 

Dean was sitting at the bar across from his brother talking to a blonde woman, Sam couldn’t shake this feeling off. _‘Why am I jealous?’_ he kept asking himself. Taking the last sip of his seventh drink, he slammed the glass on the counter and shook his head. _’He is my brother for Christ’s sake.’_

 

“How about we get out of here?” Sam heard Dean saying faintly with a smirk on his face.

“In your dreams.” Said the woman and walked away.

 

Dean with a clearly disappointed expression on his face walked up to his brother and took a seat next to him.

 

“No luck, huh?” Sam laughed, deep down he knew that he was happy it didn’t work out.

“Shut up.”

“This was hilarious,” Sam said and slammed his hand on the counter a couple of times laughing.

“Sammy—How hammered are you. God!” he said chuckling.

“Hammered? What—No I’m just tired.”

“Alright, alright,” Dean said while trying to keep his brother from falling off his seat.

 

Whenever Sam even remotely thought about the idea of being with Dean ‘in that way’, he suppressed he feelings. He refused to admit they even existed; he couldn’t let himself think like that because he knew it would only result in him getting hurt and Dean thinking he is a freak, just like everyone else did. However, this time he was excessively drunk and confused to control his thoughts and words.

 

“You are so hot,” he mumbled under his breath unable to contain himself.

“What?” Dean asked. Sam was lucky that he couldn’t form proper words.

“You know it’s getting late, we should really be going,” Dean said with a concerned look.

“Since when do you want to leave early? It’s not even midnight!” Sam said.

“It’s way past midnight, buddy. Let’s just get you to the car.”

“You are not my boss Dean!” Sam yelled shoving Dean away.

“Wow—Easy there tiger, I just want to help.”

“I don’t need your help, Dean. Go find that ugly woman of yours.”

 

Dean sighed and walked closer to his brother, as he helped him walked out the bar and into the car. Once they got back at the Motel, Sam walked out of the car stumbling.

“Oh shit.” He grumbled catching himself.

“Steady buddy, almost there,” Dean said patting him on the back.

 

They started walking down the sidewalk, Sam was leaning his head on Dean's shoulder with a smile glued to his face.

 

“What are you giggling about?” Dean asked.

“Just you.”

“Me? You are the one we should be laughing about.”

“You’re just beautiful.”

“Come again?” Dean laughed thinking he heard wrong.

“Oh come on, don’t play shy.” Sam grabbed Dean tighter by his arm trying to stay on his feet, “You know you are beautiful.”

“I am?” he asked looking down at his brother smile.

“You are special to me Dean!”

 

_ ‘Shit, why did I look?”  _ Dean thought to himself.

 

He froze and stopped walking as his brother cupped his face, “Yes you do!” Sam said in a very serious but extremely funny way the same time. Dean tried to forget about it and quickly laughed it off as he dragged his brother up to their room.


	3. Couldn't unlove him

“Here you go, Sammy.” He set Sam on the bed and grabbed him a bottle of water from the table.

 

Thankfully, for both of them, Dean wasn’t as drunk as Sam and he could handle the situation without much trouble. Once Sam was tucked into his bed Dean sat next to him scratching his head.

 

“So, did you really mean what you said? Am I pretty?”

“Not just pretty. You are gorgeous.”

 

Dean laughed quietly; he had never seen his brother that drunk. For a moment, he thought that it would be funny to learn some embarrassing secrets, so he can tease him later.

 

“I’m not kidding Dean!” Sam said and sat up. “Have you ever seen your face? Your lips? Your eyes? They are just so amazing, so—gorgeous. You—Are—Gorgeous.”

“Okay take it easy,” Dean said trying to calm down his brother.

 

With a quick move, Sam grabbed Dean’s face bringing it close to his, not moving just looking at his eyes. 

 

“You can—You can let me go now…” Dean stuttered and Sam smiled.

“Sam. Let go.”

“No.”

“Sam, I’m serious this isn’t funny anymore.”

“No!” Sam insisted.

“Sammy let go!” he yelled trying to remove his brother’s hands from his face.

 

He pushed Sam into the bed frame, holding him on his own lap. Dean felt his face heating up, not knowing if it was from the alcohol or the fact that he was inches away from kissing his brother. They both stared at each other for a moment before Sam leaned closer to Dean trying to get a kiss.

 

“Uh, Sammy, you are drunk you should sleep!” Dean explained and his brother pouted.

“I want you to sleep with me,” Sam slurred.

 

Dean shook his head, moving away from his brother.

“Sleep with me, Dean,” Sam asked repeatedly.

“You know I-I can’t. We can’t fit both in the bed.” Dean tried to joke but Sam was too drunk to understand.

“You don’t love me Dean?” he said grabbing his brother from the shoulders and wrapping his arms around him.

“Wow—Hah it’s not that Sammy. You know that—You know that I love you. I’m your brother after all right.”

“Hmmm…”

 

“Sam st—stop.” Dean gasped for air as his brother's hands went down his tight blue jeans. He even received a small moan from Dean as he pressed his lips together.

Dean wanted to give in but the thought of taking advantage of his brother for his own pleasure took over his mind. 

 

“Sammy wait.” He said and pulled his brother away from him, standing up.

“Dean?”

“You should go take a shower. Sober up a bit.”

 

Sam nodded lightly and headed for the bathroom. Every time Sam would touch him or even look at him, Dean’s heart would beat faster. He was angry at himself for having these feelings for Sam but he couldn’t help it. No longer after his younger brother walked out with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. Dean felt his face get hot and looked away when Sam’s eyes landed on him.

 

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah—Yeah a lot better,” Sam said and walked closer to Dean.

“We should get to bed.”

“Right.”

 

“Night Sammy,” Dean said and went to bed without even bothering to change his dirty clothes. Even in the thought of his brother being naked behind him turned him on, he couldn’t bear another second looking at him.

 

[...]

 

It had been more than a week since the ‘drunk’ incident. Sam didn’t remember anything from that night and Dean daren’t bring it up.  _ ‘It would be better for both of us if I don't say anything.’ _ he thought to himself.

 

They were on the road again, looking for a spirit that was killing cops somewhere in Ohio. Sam was sick with a cold that’s why he did the one thing that made him feel better, being close to Dean. His hands were pressed against Dean’s arms, while his head was resting on his brother’s shoulder. 

 

Dean was saying things that Sam didn’t pay attention to, something about the case but he was too busy listening to his heartbeat. It almost felt like it was about to jump out of his chest and crash on the windshield.  _ ‘It’s the cold, it makes me feel a bit fuzzy,’  _ he kept thinking. 

 

“Dean.” he groaned.

“Yeah?”

“I-I don’t feel so good.”

 

Sam twitched and turned, Dean, knew that his brother wasn't one to make a big deal out of things so he pulled instantly on the side of the road. 

 

“Hey--Hey, Sammy look at me! Look at me.” Dean said placing his hands on his brother’s cheeks. 

“Dean I don’t feel good-” Sam slurred as his eyelids closed.

 

“You are burning up!” he said again, “We have to get you to a hospital.”

“No!” Sam groaned and his body tensed. 

“Then what? We can’t continue like that.”

“Just… Just stay with me. Don’t leave me, Dean.” Sam said and his fingers clenched onto his brother’s jacket.

“It’s okay, I’m here.”

 

Dean moved closer to Sam and embraced him, “You are going to be okay, I’m not gonna leave you.” he said in a soft tone trying to make his brother feel better. At this moment he forgot about anything else, he just wanted to make sure that his brother was fine. 

 

As the hours went by, the night found them sound asleep in each other’s arms. Sam’s fever had gone down, everything looked peaceful and innocent like back when they were kids. Dean opened his eyes and looked at Sam, he denied it every day; but damn, the truth was, he was utterly and unconditionally in love… With him. He was the one person he could never  **unlove** not now, not ever.


	4. Uniquely Dean

The next day Sam was feeling better but Dean didn't want to risk it. With the first light, he called Bobby and asked him to assign the case to somebody else.

 

"Dean this is nuts, I'm telling you, I'm fine!" Sam yelled.

"We are not going anywhere until I say so, got it?"

"I'm gonna go on my own."

"Yeah, good luck going anywhere without a car." Dean laughed.

 

Sam didn't want to admit it but hearing his brother laugh made him smile, just a little. Marching back to the couch he stayed there until Dean was done with the shower. He was still trying to understand why Dean changed his mind all of a sudden and of course after being so distant and concentrated on the work for three weeks. If John was here and knew that Dean gave the job to someone else he would have called them both useless and instantly drag them back to the car.

 

"I'm going out Sammy!"

"B-But--"

"See ya later." Dean clicked his tongue before disappearing out the door. 

 

Sam let out a heavy sigh and threw his head back looking at the ceiling.  _ 'Is he going to meet someone?'  _ asked himself and sighed again. With a small hop, he rose to his feet and walked closer to his brother's bed. He sat at the edge pulling the t-shirt Dean wore last night from under his pillow, bringing it up to his face.

 

It smelled like alcohol, cheap cologne and ... Dean. Something undefinable that was uniquely Dean. Sam fell back onto the bed clutching his brother pillow tight into his arm letting the sweet aroma take him away.

 

_ 'Dean didn't want love. Dean wanted to get laid. Dad didn't want love. Dad wanted revenge.'  _ this thought kept swirling in Sam's mind since he was 10 years old.  _ 'Dean didn't want love.'  _ kept repeating to himself every single day, it was the easiest way to keep Dean out of his mind.

 

All Sam wanted was Dean, he wanted him in way possible. Just a hug, a goodnight kiss on the forehead or just a simple pat on the shoulder.

 

Dean was gone all day and Sam spent the day alone in the cheap motel room, worried about his brother's well being. Was he okay? All he wanted to do is pick his phone from the nightstand and call him, but only the thought of some girl answering the phone held him back.

 

At almost two am, Dean came in with a 'just got laid' expression on his face, that made Sam's heart tremble. His eyelids felt heavy, he was too emotionally exhausted to get out of his brother’s bed so he pretended to be asleep hoping Dean would join him.

 

His brother's footsteps because louder as he approached the bed, “What are you doing?” Dean asked. Sam didn’t reply at first, still pretending to be asleep.

 

“I know that you are not sleeping. Sammy.” But once again he didn’t move. 

 

“As you wish.” Dean sighed and moved away from the bed falling on the couch. The thought of sleeping on his brother’s bed or joining Sam crossed his mind more than once, but he knew better than to give in.

 

“Where were you, Dean?” a faint voice echoed in the room.

“Out.”

 

There was silence again, the two brothers didn’t speak. It wasn’t until the first sunlight started creeping from the blinds that the older Winchester spoke again, “Sammy? Are you up?” but he got no response. 

 

The old floorboards squealed as he got up to approach the bed once again. This time he sat next to his brother. His lips parted and a small sigh escaped, his hands rested on his brother’s head stroking his hair gently. 

 

“I’m sorry Sammy, “he paused “I don’t know what go to me yesterday and I left you.” Maybe Sam was wrong after all. Maybe Dean… Wanted love?

 

“I’m not gonna leave you again. I promise.”

“I know,” Sam said quietly surprising the older Winchester. 

“You are awake!” Dean said and immediately tried to stand up.

“No. Don't!” Sam whispered, grasping onto his brother’s wrist, tightly. 

 


	5. Who was the first guy you liked?

“No. Don't!” Sam whispered, grasping onto his brother’s wrist, tightly. 

‘“Sammy…” he replied softly letting his hand fall on his lap again.

 

Neither of them spoke for a moment, at least not with words, what their eyes were saying; was a whole other story. 

 

“Where were you last night, Dean?” Sam started,” And don’t say out!”

Dena looked away for a second, “I was with the girl from the reception.”

 

Sam felt his heart break just a little, but why was that? He was used to his brother sleeping around. Why did it seem harder every day then?

 

“And you slept with her?”

“Why all this interested all of a sudden?” his voice became a little harsher.

 

“Wh--I’m just asking.”

“Well, you are so interested in my sex life… Yes, I did sleep with her.”

“And?” Dean wasn't looking him in the eyes, avoiding eye contact all the cost.

“Dean I’m talking you!”

 

Dean raised his eyebrows turning to glance at Sam. 

“What is this an interrogation?” he scoffed.

 

“I just asked you a question.”

“Why do you even care?” Dean asked.

“You know what… I’m out of here,” Sam said and stood up.

 

“Fucking jerk!” He mumbled under his breath, but loud enough for Dean to hear him, slamming the door as he left before Dean could say anything else. 

 

Dean sighed flopping back down on the bed. When Sam got back they would be fine, both less moody they’d get over it just like they always did when they fought. But deep down he knew, that something was different here. 

 

Dean sat back on the bed and opened the TV, telling himself that he had to relax. But he still checked the clock every so often just so he’d know Sam would be coming back. It was around three and still no sight of Sam, he started to get annoyed. He knew his brother was doing it on purpose, leaving him alone in the room as a punishment for his last night actions. But as the time went by he started to get hungry, he stood up from the bed taking a walk to the kitchen checking the fridge for leftovers. He pulled out his phone, no missed calls or texts from Sam.

 

He quickly typed out a message “Isn’t it a little early for you to start drinking?”. After a few minutes with no response, he sent another text. 

 

“Sam you can’t just leave me here hanging. I’m sorry okay?”

 

_ ‘What the hell am I sorry for?”,  _ he though, but he didn’t mind dropping his ego if that meant for Sam to come back safe.  _ ‘What if he got drunk and crashed the car?’  _ he thought once more. He knew this wasn’t the usual Sam, his brother wouldn't disappear on him like that. He picked up his cellphone again to give him a call, it rang and rang, and rang, before going to voicemail. Dean glanced at the clock again, he was gone for over five hours. He grabbed his jacket, shoes and headed for the door. Once he stepped out of the room he came face to with their car that was still parked outside and Sam sitting on the hood with a half-empty beer on his hand. 

 

“Hey…” he said as he walked closer to his brother. 

“Hey,” Sam replied without looking. 

“I’m sorry about all the crap before,” Dean sighed “I just--It’s that I--just…”

 

_ ‘I’m sorry and I love you.’  _ Dean thought. 

 

But he couldn’t say it, he didn’t know how to express it. How could he? Sam brought the bottle close to his lips taking another sip.

 

“Can you please just look at me at least?” but Sam didn’t pay attention to his brother request. 

“Do you really wanna talk about our feelings now?” Sam asked after a while. 

“This is Serious Sam. Something has gotten into you the past few days.”

“Something has gotten into me? Me? You are the one that leaves and sleeps around.”

“Dean paused for a bit, “Well you don’t do that.”

Sam sighed, “Dean it’s nothing.”

 

Dean gave him a judgy look and stared at him. Sam knew that there’ll be lots of yelling and arguments if he didn’t reply. He had to think of something and fast, to draw the attention away from what was actually happening. 

 

“There’s this person. That I… Like,” he said with hesitation.

 

Dean changed expression very fast and his face lit up. “Oh, who is the lucky lady?”

 

It hurt Dean knowing that Sam was in love with someone else, but if that meant that it would keep him away from him… It was better, guaranteed that Sammy wouldn’t get hurt.

 

“I never said it was a girl,” Sam said leaving Dean’s jaw hanging. 

“Since where are you into dudes?”

“Since ever?” he sighed “If you weren’t so caught up in your own relationships you would know.”

“B-But you had a girlfriend?”

 

Jess… It still hurt Dean saying her name, Sam looked happy when he was with her. She made him happy when Dean couldn’t. 

 

“She wasn’t a… Dude? Was she?” Dean was clearly confused and Sam was clearly enjoying it.

 

“No.” Sam laughed, “I like both.”

“Huh…” Dean exclaimed and took the bottle of his brother’s hand, after all... Wasn’t that what was happening to him, he liked girls and--A boy.

“And did you ever…” Dean said making some movements with his hands.

“No, Dean. I didn’t have sex with guys.” Sam chuckled.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this? Or dad?”

“Dad… Already disagreed with me on most things so--”

“You were scared oh how he’d react,” Dean said.

“Sure, let’s go with that.”

 

The two boys went back to their room, both of them lying on their beds about to sleep.

 

“Hey, Sammy?”

“Yes?”

“Who was the first guy you liked?”


	6. I never said 'I love you'

“Who was the first guy you liked?”

Sam felt an instant fear and also relief… Did he hear that right, was this the right time to tell him?

“You…”

Dean’s eyes turned to Sam, “You don’t know him.” Sam continued. 

 

“Do you still love this guy or what?” Dean asked after he recovered from his small stroke. 

“Does it matter now Dean?” he paused dramatically, “It’s a lost cause.”

 

“I mean-- I can help you if you want.”

“I don't even think he likes guys, why try?”

“He might surprise you.”

 

_ ‘What the actual hell am I doing?’ _ Dean kept repeating, almost screaming in his head. Was he really about to help his brother get a date with another person, but after all isn’t that what brothers are for? To help, even if it hurts.

 

“Okay but-- I don’t know what to say. Whenever we are talking about feelings I get all embarrassed and red and--”

 

“You really love this guy don’t you?” said Dean cutting him off.

“Yes… I guess I do.”

“So, can help you. You can just practice what you’ll say to him, on me and then you’ll be ready.” the older brother said and patted the empty space beside him on the bed.

 

Dean was skeptical at first if what he suggested was the right thing to do. But the thought of having his brother to tell him he was in love with him even for once and even if it wasn’t true… Maybe just maybe, it would drive all of his feelings away. 

 

“Okay then,” Sam exclaimed and sat next to his brother.

 

His palms were getting sweaty, he couldn’t look up at his brother it all felt too real, skin burning voice trembling. 

 

“Okay so go ahead tell me--him!” Dean corrected himself in panic, “How--You feel.” 

 

“Are you sure about this Dean?” he paused, “I thought you hated chick flick moments, romance, feelings and--”

“One time I’m trying to help and you wanna turn this around?” he laughed, and Sam laughed back. 

“You promise that you won’t laugh?”

“I would never do that.” Dean’s smile was sincere, his touch warm on Sam’s knee, eyes sparkling. Taking a deep breath, Sam cleared his throat and looked at his brother. 

 

“When I’m with you, I feel safe. Even on the worst days where everything feels impossible when I see your face and hear your laughter… The world becomes a little brighter.”

 

In any other occasion, if someone was telling him all these cheesy stuff, Dean would have laughed his ass off. But this time it felt a little different, a little more right and a little more wrong. 

 

“I love you, I’ve always loved you and I’ll always do. I don’t know how to explain the why or how but I just-- do.” Sam said reaching for Dean’s hand that was resting on his knee. 

 

He knew he loved his brother, every inch of Dean’s body wanted to melt at Sam’s touch. He had never felt like this before, not with any of the girls he’d been with. No, this was different, this was all-consuming, overwhelming, jaw-dropping love. This kind that made your toes curl and skin tingle. Sam’s words and actions made Dean think that this was the right choice.

 

“Sam…” Dean said in a breathy voice and leaned closer to Sam.

“D--” Sam started saying but Dean cut him off as he pressed his cheek against his brother’s. 

 

They could both feel each other’s warmth as their faces touched. Dean’s lips planted a small kiss on his brother’s left cheek, Sam found himself enjoying the things his brother was doing to him. He didn’t even seem bothered by the kisses now peppering his neck and even tilted his head as to give his brother better access. Sam opened his mouth but closed it again and bit his lip, refraining from saying anything. 

 

In Sam’s mind, everything was foggy, even more than Dean’s, this felt like one of his fantasies. But this time felt way too real, could this really be happening? Was Dean just playing the role he was given or was there something more? The young Winchester knew, that even if it was just ‘pretend’ for Dean, what was happening was still wrong. Both brothers wanted this, more than anything in the world but it seemed like the walls that were holding Dean’s feelings back had just crumbled into the ground. 

 

“Dean wait.” he pushed him away, “We--We can’t--Can’t do this,” Sam said trying to catch his breath.

 

“But… You want this, and I wan--”

“Don't!” Sam cut him off, “Don’t!”

“But you said you loved me!” Dean cried.

 

Sam had this quick thought of giving in falling into his arms and never letting go. But the side of himself that kept him away from Dean all these years, overpowered.

 

“I never said that I love you, Dean.” these words hurt Sam as much as they did Dean, maybe more.

 

The young boy saw the light disappearing from his brother’s eyes,  _ ‘I never said that I love you, Dean’  _ echoed in his mind over and over again. Dean sat in silence, his body shaking from what had just happened. Tears stung his eyes and stained his cheeks, sobs wracking his body. He rarely cried, almost never, yet here he was, crying like a newborn baby. Could you blame him? The person he loved most, more than anyone in the whole world had just rejected him. He gave him his heart, and Sam let it slip through his fingers, fall to the ground and shatter into a million pieces. The night his brother got drunk flashed in Dean’s mind, a small part of him regretted that he didn't give in.

 

“Right,’ said Dean in a trembling voice. 

 

Sam felt as someone was stabbing his heart with a million knives at the same time over and over again. He made Dean cry.

 

“Right, yeah-Okay-Uh… Sorry.” pain in his voice. “I’m just--I’m just gonna get to the car and yeah--” Dean laughed and sat up.

 

“No! No Dean wait.” Sam said this time crying, “No I’m sorry I can’t--I can’t do this to you. Not you Dean. I need to tell you the truth.” His brother didn’t move just looked back at him.

 

“What?” Dean said with a pleading voice. 

“I love you, Dean I do.”

“Fuck you Sam.” and punched him.

“What the hell Dean?” 

“Stop fucking with me, getting all drunk, saying that you love me trying to kiss me, being all over me and then all distant and then all over me again. You’ve fucked up my feelings, I only have that much self-control, I won’t be able to keep myself away from you if you keep this shit up!”

 

“Then don’t.” Sam's hand reached for one last time, eyes filled with lust pleading for Dean’s attention, his touch. 

 

And maybe it was the beer or the way they were looking at each other, but for a moment just this moment, it felt like the right thing to do. So Dean just leaned in, it was as simple as that. After all these years maybe that was all that needed to be done, an act courage and a leap of faith. Dean’s forehead rested against his. They closed their eyes. Both their breaths shaking. Dean gently leaned closer and kissed Sam's warms lips. They pulled apart and took shaky, shallow breaths. He kissed him and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. His hand rested below Sam’s ear, his thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingled. Sam ran her fingers down his spine, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and he could feel the beating of his brothers heart against his chest. 

 

The older Winchester broke the kiss and tried to catch his breath, “I know it shouldn’t be like this with you, Sam. But I can’t help it, you made me fall for you fast and hard. Feels like the type of love that you can’t ignore forever.” Dean’s cheeks were rosy and it made Sam smiled. 

 

“I love you,” Sam said quietly letting out a small whimper of anticipation.

 

Unable to contain himself anymore, Dean pressed his lips against for one more passionate kiss. His hands worked their way around his body, now drifting to Sam’s hip. It settled there and pulled him closer, causing him to inhale sharply. Dean worked his way back to his tender lips. As they kiss he rolled Dean over and lied on top of his strong, muscular body. 

 

“Soft,” Dean whispered as he stroked Sam’s cheek, his hand gently glided through his hair, as he looked at Sam in a way he had never looked at anyone before, and Sam knew that.

 

“What are you doing to me, Sam?” he asked, “How are you making me love this much?”

 

“How long?” Dean asked after a while, eyes locked with Sam’s.

“More than I can remember.”

“Ask me to stop, and I’ll stop. Tell me you want me, and I’ll walk away.”

“No!” Sam’s voice was full of fear that resourced Dean how much wanted this. 

Sam sighed in relief when Dean brushed his nose with his.

“Me too,” he said, “I’ve been waiting for this since the start. And I’m so sick of waiting.”

Sam’s eyes fluttered shut, moving into Dean’s touch. “I love you too much,” Dean whispered and pulled him into a tight embrace. 

The two brother stayed in bed for the rest of the night, holding on to each other for dear life. And it felt like it had all came in place, after years of wandering all the pieces were now together.

 

**[THE END]**


End file.
